What my life would be like
by SteffieB14
Summary: This is my second fic. This is what I wish my life was like. Rated R for Swearing (For those who already read this, Please read it again because something went wrong and half of the story was cut out.)


Disclaimer: Hey people! I'm back. I decided to write this fic because I'm bored. This is random so hopefully you will like it. I don't own Yu-gi-oh. I do own my best friend, Jonathan though and I own myself, Steff. ^_~  
  
WARNING: Rated R for swearing and violence. Not responsible for brain damage. On with the fic. ^_^ Note: Non-Yaoi fic. Sorry Yaoi lovers!  
  
() =Events  
  
**=Actions  
  
/blah/ =thoughts  
  
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My Life in Yugi's World  
  
By SteffieB14  
  
(It's a nice day outside. The setting is my house.)  
  
Steff: Zzzzzzzzzzz! *Phone rings* GAH! *Falls out of bed* who the fuck is calling me at this hour? *Looks at clock* Noon already! I didn't realize it was this late in the day. *Picks up phone* Hello?  
  
Jonathan: Hey Steff.  
  
Steff: Hi. What's up Jon?  
  
Jon: Can I come over to your house?  
  
Steff: You are always welcome.  
  
Jon: Yay! Thanks... Hey! What the...CRASH!!  
  
Steff: What the fuck is going on over there?!  
  
Yugi: Can we come over too?  
  
Steff: "We" being?  
  
Jon: *in background* Fuck Bakura! Did ya have to push me so hard?  
  
Bakura: Yes.  
  
Jon: -_-;;  
  
Yugi: *into phone* Ryou, Yami, Bakura, Joey, Seto, and Me.  
  
Steff: Fine. But if ANY of you fuck up my house, you'll be in deep shit with me!  
  
Yugi: O_O;; Okay. We will try to be good. See ya in a few minutes.  
  
Steff: Bring Sugar!  
  
Yugi: Don't we always! Bye *Hangs up phone*  
  
Steff: *Hangs up* Ra help me.  
  
(Later...)  
  
Steff: Okay. I think I'm ready for the gang. *Doorbell rings* that must be them.   
  
*Goes downstairs and answers the door*  
  
Girl scouts: *In Irish accent* Hello. Would you like to buy some of our delicious Girl Scout cookies?  
  
Steff: I thought I told you I don't want any cookies!  
  
Girl scouts: Good! How many would you like?  
  
Steff: Grrrrrr! /I hate when they show up. You can't get rid of them. Wait. I could use my shadow magic. Nah. Not worth the effort. Time for plan B/ *in a calm voice* Excuse me while I go something. *Runs to a hidden closet full of weapons* I think I will take this one. *Grabs weapon, hides it behind back, and goes back to the door* Hi. ^_^  
  
Girl Scouts: Did you get what you were going to get?  
  
Steff: *Sees the gang coming down the block* Oh Yeah! *Reveals weapon*  
  
Girl scouts: What the fuck?  
  
Steff: EAT FLAMETHROWER YOU FUCKING RETARDS!!! *Turns on flamethrower* MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Girl scouts: AHHHHHHHHH! X_X  
  
Bakura: Sweet! She's a pyromaniac too!  
  
Jon: Sometimes it's a problem.  
  
Bakura/Steff: It's not a problem, it's an obsession! ^_^  
  
Jon: T_T;;;  
  
Steff: Anyway, now that that's settled, *chuck flamethrower into bushes CLANG* what was that?  
  
Ryou: I think you hit something?  
  
Bakura: No shit Sherlock!  
  
Steff: Let's see what I hit. *Peeks into bushes* what the...?  
  
Yugi: What did you hit?  
  
Steff: A...Squirrel.  
  
Jon: *rolls over laughing*  
  
Steff: oh well. Let's go inside shall we. *Opens the wooden doors* Welcome to my mansion.  
  
Everyone but Steff and Jon: O.O  
  
(Meanwhile outside the house, a mysterious figure lurks in the bushes.)  
  
MF: OW!! Motherfucker! That oversized piece of shit gave me a bruise *Rubs anime bruise on head* that bitch will pay for that! /Now how to get inside/ *looks up and sees an open window* /Perfect. Hee Hee/  
  
(Back inside...)  
  
Joey: Sweet pad Steff. It looks better than Setos place.  
  
Seto: No way! My place is way better.  
  
Steff: Duh! It's because you have money coming out of your fucking ears!  
  
Seto: Oh yeah. Sorry.  
  
Steff: It's okay. I mean I'm not broke.  
  
*Joey stomach interrupts this pointless conversation*  
  
Joey: I'm starvin'.  
  
Bakura: How can you be starving! You ate 20 donuts before we came over here!  
  
Joey: But it didn't last very long.  
  
Steff: Don't worry Joey. Yugi brought over sugar for us.  
  
Yugi: I don't have the sugar.  
  
Joey: O_O WHAT!!!!  
  
Steff: *still calm* Why didn't you bring the sugar?  
  
Yugi: *in tears* I looked for the sugar in Grandpa's safe and *sniff* there wasn't any.  
  
Yami: Joey! You bastard! You made my hikari cry.  
  
Steff: *kneels down to Yugi's height* don't cry Yugi. I've got enough sugar to serve an entire army!  
  
Everyone but Steff: What?!  
  
Jon: You never told me about this!  
  
Steff: -_-; If I did, I would never see you again.  
  
Jon: Oh Yeah. ^_^  
  
Joey: I WANT SUGAR!!!  
  
Steff: Okay. Okay. I will take you to my sugar horde!  
  
Everyone including Yugi, who has now stopped crying: YESSSSSS!  
  
(Meanwhile, outside the house...)  
  
MF: *jumps in through open window* It took me a long time to get in that tree, especially with those retarded squirrels who kept biting me.  
  
*A squirrel throws an acorn at the mysterious figure*  
  
MF: _ OW! You fucking squirrel! You will pay for this. /How do I get down to where they are at? It looks like I'm in a bedroom so maybe if I walk outside/ *sees a maze of hallways* O_O HOLY SHIT!!  
  
(At the same time...)  
  
Jon: *still following Steff to the sugar horde* did you guys hear that?  
  
Ryou: Hear what?  
  
Jon: I heard someone swear from somewhere in the house.  
  
Bakura: You're imagining things.  
  
Jon: o_o;; maybe.  
  
Steff: We're here. *Opens metal door* Welcome to my sugar horde!  
  
Yami: Ra-Damn! The room's filled with pixie stix!  
  
Joey: Sweet!  
  
Seto: Just out of curiosity, how did you get this many pixie stix?  
  
Steff: Pegasus runs an underground Sugar factory. (A/N: When I say underground, I mean secret)  
  
Ryou: So that's what he does now. But still, how did you get the pixie stix here?  
  
Steff: There is another secret door in this place that leads directly to Pegasus' factory.  
  
Jon: You didn't tell me about that either!  
  
Steff: And I never will show you where the door is.  
  
Jon: Why not?  
  
Steff: For 1 thing, you hate Pegasus! When we were at Duelist Kingdom, you had too much sugar and you revealed your true feelings toward Pegasus.  
  
Jon: I did? I don't even remember the incident.  
  
Steff: That's because 30 guards had to tranquilize you, lock you up, and beat you to the brink of death!  
  
Yugi: What did he do that was so bad?  
  
Steff: Basically he carried an arsenal of weapons ranging from weak knives to killer flamethrowers. I was hiding but I think he had at least 15 weapons on him.  
  
Everyone except Jon and Steff: O_O;;;;;;  
  
Steff: Anyway, dig into the endless supply of pixie stix!!  
  
Everyone: YAAAAAAY!!! *Everyone starts to eat pixie stix*  
  
(10 minutes later in the living room...)  
  
Joey: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!   
  
Steff: Joey! Get the fuck off of my couch!  
  
Joey: NOOOOO WAY!! I'M HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!  
  
Seto: You guys act really weird when you are sugar high.  
  
Steff: You mean you didn't have any sugar!  
  
Seto: No. I didn't. Speaking of which, how come you are still sane?  
  
Steff: Sugar doesn't affect me physically.  
  
Seto: I don't understand.  
  
Steff: Just think of it this way, I don't act crazy when I'm on sugar but my brain gets an extra boost of energy, which is why my hands are glowing.  
  
Seto: Whaa... GAH!!*Looks at Steff's hands and see that they are glowing a bluish color* what the fuck is wrong with your hands?  
  
Steff: My power comes from my hands so they have power building up inside...Hey! BAKURA!! Get the fuck outta my Weapon's closet! Don't make me hurt you.  
  
Bakura: Fuck Steff! You have some pretty heavy stuff in here! OOOOOOOO What does this one do?  
  
Steff: I told you, get the FUCK OUTTA MY WEAPON'S CLOSET!!! *Uses power stored in hands to pick up Bakura and throw him against the opposite wall* See Seto. Now my hands don't glow as much.  
  
Seto: O___O;;;;;;;;;  
  
Yami: *In between laughing* Ha Ha Tomb Robber! Steff fucked you up! XD *falls on the floor*  
  
Bakura: Shut the fuck up you retarded Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: Make me, punching bag!  
  
Bakura: I will! *Gets off the floor and tackles Yami*  
  
Yami: Fuck off dumb ass!  
  
*They start to fight and blood soon is shed*  
  
Steff: Hey this is sweet! Who wants popcorn?  
  
Everyone but Yami and Bakura: ME!!  
  
Steff: Okay. Give me a minute to get it prepared.  
  
Yugi: Uh Steff?  
  
Steff: What's up Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Doesn't this count as fucking up your house?  
  
Steff: Huh? Oh right. I don't care. I was just tired in the morning so I said that outta frustration.  
  
Yugi: -_-;;;;; Oh.  
  
(Somewhere in the mansion...)  
  
MF: FUCK!!! I'M LOST! I'm gonna rot here and die unless I find civilization. *Hears voices coming from around the corner and decides to follow them. MF comes to a staircase that leads downstairs* Finally. The voices are getting louder so I must be going in the right direction. *Goes down the stairs and looks into the living room and sees a chair being chucked across the room* oh FUCK!!! *Ducks and looks at what's going on. There are 6 people on the couch with popcorn, alcohol and pixie stix and there are 2 people who are kicking the shit out of each other on the floor* /I have to stop this madness/ *Steps into the room* STOP FIGHTING NOW!!!  
  
*Everyone stops what they are doing and looks up at the cloaked person*  
  
Steff: Who are you and how the fuck did you get into my house?  
  
MF: A window was open so I climbed inside.  
  
Jon: How long have you been in the house?  
  
MF: *looks at a clock and sees that it is almost 7:00pm* About 6 hours.  
  
Seto: You've been here for 6 hours?! Then why are you showing up now?  
  
Steff: He probably got lost.  
  
Jon: How can you tell it's a he?  
  
Steff: I can't. ^_^  
  
Jon: T_T; Right.  
  
Ryou: Why don't you remove your cloak and show us who you are!  
  
MF: Okay. *Removes cloak*  
  
Everyone except MF: O_O;;;;;;  
  
Yami: ANZU??!!!  
  
Anzu: Yep. ^_^  
  
Bakura: Why the fuck are you here?  
  
Anzu: Because I wanted to follow Yugi here since he's my future husband.  
  
Yugi: AHHHHHHH! Someone get that sick retard outta here!  
  
Steff: With pleasure. SHADOW SPELL! *Sends Anzu to the shadow realm*   
  
Yugi: Thank you Steff *Hug*  
  
Steff: You're welcome Yugi *Hug*  
  
Ryou: Cute! ^_^  
  
Steff: *after hug* Are you two done fighting?  
  
Yami: Yeah.  
  
Bakura: I think so.  
  
Jon: Good. Steff.  
  
Steff: Huh?  
  
Jon: I challenge you to a duel!  
  
Everyone but Jon and Steff: O_O;; What?!  
  
Seto: A duel now? But why?  
  
Jon: I want to test my new deck out.  
  
Steff: Same here. I accept your challenge.  
  
Jon: Yes! Let's start now.  
  
Steff: Hold on. Let's go to the backyard and duel.  
  
Jon: Okay!  
  
Bakura: *Cleaning up his injuries* this will be good!  
  
Yami: *also cleaning his wounds* Oh Yeah!  
  
(In the backyard...)  
  
Steff: We will duel out here.  
  
Jon: You can't expect me to put my cards on the grass!  
  
Steff: No I don't. *Goes over to a conveniently placed cabinet and pulls out 2 duel disks* I expect us to duel with these.  
  
Bakura: Cool!  
  
Yugi: Yeah. They look better than Setos!  
  
Seto: They are exactly the same!  
  
Steff: Actually, They are quite different.  
  
Seto: How?  
  
Steff: Instead of having the Monster/Magic/Trap zone on the side, I have them in front. Then the life point meter is in the center. The deck zone is behind the meter and the Graveyard is on the side of the meter. You can only put in one card at a time. Plus, there is a surprise that I added to these duel disks.  
  
Jon: What would that be?  
  
Steff: You will soon find out. ^_^  
  
Jon: J_J I wanna know now.  
  
Yami: Let's just start the duel.  
  
Steff: Fine! Geez. There are no tributes required for this duel.  
  
Jon: That's fine with me.  
  
Joey: I think Steff will win.  
  
Yugi: I think Jon will win.  
  
Yami: My bet is on Jon.  
  
Bakura: I want Steff to win.  
  
Seto: I also want Steff to win.  
  
Ryou: I think Jon will win.  
  
Bakura: Traitor!  
  
Ryou:-_-;  
  
Steff: I'll go first. I summon Winged Dragon #1 in Attack mode.  
  
*The Winged Dragon (ATK1400/DEF1200) suddenly appeared in the sky*  
  
(A/N: If I get any ATK/DEF wrong, don't sue me! I might give the name of some attacks, too)  
  
Jon: What the fuck?!  
  
Seto: Where are the simulators?  
  
Steff: The other reason why my disks are different. There are no simulators.  
  
Yami: You mean that thing is real?!  
  
Steff: Yep. ^_^  
  
Seto: That's impossible! Where do the monsters come from and how can they be here just by placing a card down.  
  
Steff: The monsters are from the Shadow Realm and the duel disks run off of my mind power.  
  
Joey: Wow. You're even more of a nerd than Seto.  
  
Seto: Shut up dog!  
  
Joey: _ DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!  
  
Jon: Anyway, I summon Rouge Doll in attack mode (1600/1000). *A doll that looks like a fucked up Dark Magician girl appears* Attack. * Doll attacks the dragon and the dragon is vaporized* you lose 200 LP.  
  
Steff: Fine! Curse of Dragon in attack mode (2000/1500) *Curse of dragon comes down from the sky*Attack. Now you lose 400 LP.  
  
Yugi: You really like dragons, don't you Steff?  
  
Steff: Hell Yeah! They kick ass.  
  
Seto: You said it!  
  
Jon: I can beat that with Flame Cerberus in attack mode (2100/1800) *A 3 headed dog that has a purple body leaped out of a tear in the dimensions and shook the ground a little*  
  
Seto: Look Joey. It's a relative.  
  
Joey: Fuck off Seto!  
  
Jon: Attack! *Cerberus shoots a fireball at Curse of Dragon and it is destroyed and Steff loses 100 LP* Ha! Beat that!  
  
Yami: I realize that this duel is to figure out who has the strongest monster since neither one is using Magic or Traps.  
  
Yugi: Good guess.  
  
Steff: I summon Serpent Night Dragon in attack mode (2350/2400) *A blue dragon that looks like a combination of a snake and a bird zooms down from the sky and kicks up some dust* Sonic Blasts! *The dragon shoots a series of sonic waves to destroy Flame Cerberus* you lose 250 LP.  
  
Jon: Damn! Now I'm pissed! Go Dark Magician (2500/2100) * Dark Magician appears from a black hole in the sky*  
  
Yami: Cool!  
  
Jon: Dark Magic attack! *Dark Magician vaporizes Serpent Night Dragon* you lose 150 LP. =P  
  
Seto: How will she counter this?  
  
Steff: Now you made me pissed off! It's time to revive history.  
  
Yami: What's she talking about?  
  
Bakura: I have no idea.  
  
Jon: You won't!  
  
Steff: I will! Go Blue Eyes White Dragon! *The mighty blue dragon appeared in the sky and crashed down on the Earth, which caused the ground to shake*  
  
Seto: No way!! How do you have a BEWD?!  
  
Steff: Pegasus made me one.  
  
Yugi: Is it just me or did the weather get worse?  
  
*Black clouds started to form in the sky. Purple lightning started to spark*  
  
Ryou: I think the weather got worse.  
  
Jon: What's going on?   
  
Steff: This duel is made special.  
  
Jon: What do you mean?  
  
Steff: Notice that our LP no longer matter anymore.  
  
Jon: *Looks at his meter and sees that it has been turned off* what does this mean?  
  
Steff: In this fight, the Dark Magician and the Blue Eyes White Dragon act on their own. Their attack power does not matter here.  
  
Joey: *freaked out a little* and what is "here"?  
  
Steff: This is the Shadow Realm.  
  
Bakura: In your backyard?!  
  
Steff: Sure! Why not?  
  
Yugi: This place gives me the creeps.  
  
Jon: You don't need to worry about it.  
  
Steff: Shall we get started?  
  
Jon: Alright! Go Dark Magician!  
  
Steff: Take him out Blue eyes!  
  
*The two creatures charged at each other. Soon they were engaged in a fierce battle. Nothing else mattered. Their only focus was the opponent in front of them. They fought for many minutes until they both had little energy left*  
  
Steff: Come on Blue Eyes! You can still win.  
  
Jon: Don't give up Dark Magician!  
  
Yami: A winner will be determined soon.  
  
*Both monsters stood, even though they were exhausted. The Dark Magician raised it staff and was ready to fire an attack. The Blue Eyes White Dragon had its head up and was also ready to attack. The Dark Magician fired a Dark Magic attack and...The dragon dodged and fired a white lightning attack that hit the Dark Magician head on. The Dark Magician collapsed. Steff has won the duel*  
  
Steff: You did it Blue Eyes! You won. *Hugs the dragon*  
  
Jon: You put up a good fight Dark Magician. You make me proud. *Hugs Dark Magician*  
  
*After the hug, the clouds disappear and both monsters fade away*  
  
Steff: *shakes hands with Jon* that was a good match.  
  
Jon: Indeed. That was better than I expected.  
  
Steff: What did you guys...think? O_O What the?  
  
Seto: I knew Blue Eyes was better than the Dark Magician!  
  
Yugi: No way! Dark Magician could easily wipe out your dragon.  
  
Seto: Sorry to inform you Shorty but your puny Dark Magician didn't even phase my dragon.  
  
Yami: Don't call my hikari short you rich bastard!  
  
Seto: I wasn't talking to you you poor excuse for a Pharaoh!  
  
Bakura: Good one!  
  
Yugi: You can't talk to my yami like that you asshole!  
  
Seto: Whatcha gonna do about it short stuff?  
  
Yugi: Grrrrrr! DON"T CALL ME SHORT MOTHERFUCKER! *Tackles Seto and starts to punch him*  
  
Yami: And I'm a better Pharaoh than you'll ever be! *Joins in the fight*  
  
Bakura: In your dreams!  
  
Yami: Shut the fuck up you dumb ass Tomb Robber!  
  
Bakura: Stop calling me that! *Also joins the fight*  
  
Seto: GET THE FUCK OFFA ME ASSHOLES!!  
  
Yugi/Yami/Bakura: MAKE US!!  
  
Joey: Hey! I wanna fight, too. *Jumps in for no apparent reason*  
  
Steff/Jon/Ryou: O_O;;;;;  
  
Ryou: Shouldn't we stop them?  
  
Steff: We should, but I ain't stupid enough to get involved!  
  
Jon: Hey Steff?  
  
Steff: What?  
  
Jon: Can we stay here tonight?  
  
Steff: Sure. I don't mind.  
  
Ryou: YESSS!  
  
Steff: Why are you happy?  
  
Ryou: I don't have to break up this insane fight now. You guys wanna go watch a movie?  
  
Steff: Sure.  
  
Jon: Okay.  
  
*The three of them go inside and grabs some food and drink and they watch a movie, leaving Seto, Yugi, Yami, Bakura, and Joey to deal with their problem*  
  
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Steff: Wow. That was long. I got lost in the story and I didn't even notice that it was incredibly long. Well I think that's about it. *CRASH* What the Fuck?!  
  
Seto: You guys are going down!  
  
Yugi: You wish!  
  
Yami: I won't be defeated so easily cuz I'm the King of Games.  
  
Bakura: So what? It's just a name. It doesn't mean anything!  
  
Joey: This is fun!  
  
Steff: WILL YOU GUYS TAKE THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!  
  
All but Steff: Okay *roll out the door*  
  
Steff: Boys! All they wanna do is fight. They can be so stupid sometimes. Anyway, Please R&R and tell me what you think! ^_~ 


End file.
